True Name
by Haberdashing
Summary: One-shot set in the Trascendence AU (transcendence-au on tumblr). Dipper encounters a group of cultists who claim to know his true name.


Dimly-lit basement, hooded figures in dark brown robes, ominous Latin chanting…

Dipper yawned. He'd been summoned by four nigh-identical groups of cultists just today, and the sun hadn't even set yet. What was it they wanted now? Ruling the world? Everlasting life? When would these people learn that that sort of wish just wasn't going to end up well for them?

The only thing that distinguished this bunch from the last was that they seemed to have an odd fixation on cats. The ritual candles were interspersed with stone cat statues, and a rough sketch of a cat head had been inserted into the summoning circle's design. Dipper had never cared for cats. His initial distaste for them, admittedly, had had less to do with the cats themselves and more to do with Mabel teasing him about what she called his "kitten sneezes." But after becoming a demon, his hatred of cats had grown tenfold. Cats had the uncanny ability to see him when no other mundane creatures could, glaring and hissing whenever he came near, and they had a nasty habit of showing up when he least wanted to be noticed. He'd managed to talk Mabel out of getting a cat when she first moved out (three kids later, and the idea of adding a pet to the mix had been most definitely ruled out) and tried to avoid the occasional strays he saw wandering the streets. Dipper wasn't afraid of cats, exactly. Being afraid of such weak creatures now would be rather absurd, given that he could destroy any cat that offended him with the blink of an eye. But they certainly… unnerved him. If these guys were trying to unnerve him, well, it was certainly working, though why a cult would try to annoy the demon which they had summoned was beyond him.

He tuned out the cultists' words for a minute or two, enjoying the increasingly frustrated looks on their faces as they slowly began to realize that the demon they had worked so hard to summon just didn't care. Blah blah blah "Almighty Alcor" blah blah blah "being of such great power" blah blah blah "watching you"…

Wait. What was that last part?

Dipper shook his head, awoken from his reverie.

"We have been tracking you for some time, oh great and powerful Alcor, and watching your dealings with your closest associates…"

Oh no. Not another group of stalkers. Okay, so he was pretty used to the whole lack of privacy thing by now, but it was still annoying when yet another cult decided to spy on his family. At least this bunch hadn't made the grave mistake of actually attempting to _hurt _his loved ones. Maybe, after a couple dozen groups of cultists suffered gruesome ends after having stepped over the line, the world had finally learned that messing with the Pines family was a bad plan.

"…and, oh darkest of demons, through our observations, we have uncovered your true name!"

His true…?

Oh dear. That was a new one.

It made sense, though. If they'd been spying on him for long enough, of course they would have seen Mabel mention his name at least once. Perhaps it should have been more of a surprise that it had taken so many years for a cult to find out his name. But Dipper knew, both instinctively and intellectually, how disastrous it would be for his true name to be uncovered. Names were powerful things, and if they had his, he would be under their control. And if they had the mindset of the typical group of cultists… well, the end results wouldn't be pretty.

It didn't seem like they were bluffing, either. The Big Dipper at the center of the circle gave that much away. Most groups stuck to a simple star symbol, or occasionally one depicting the twin stars of Alcor and Mizar, if they were especially familiar with their astronomy. But the Big Dipper… that was one that only his loved ones were privy to. That was private information. That made it personal.

"Give rise to our wishes, Alcor! Or rather…"

Dipper braced himself. Whatever happened, it wouldn't be his fault, he knew that. If he was being controlled, it was their fault if he tore the world asunder in their name. But that didn't make him feel any worse as his mind raced with images of all the chaos that he could create, all the destruction that he could cause if he was commanded to do so.

"…Dippy-cat!"

Dipper stared at the cultists' all-too-serious faces before bursting into laughter.

Mabel had been calling him Dippy-cat all day yesterday after he'd sneezed shortly after she summoned him to help with chores, and his pleas to stop had only led to her using the name even more frequently. Then the triplets had picked it up after arriving home from school, and suddenly he was surrounded by four voices shouting "Dippy-cat! Dippy-cat!" (Henry, mercifully, had declined to join in.) The teasing only ceased once the family had gone to sleep, and the episode had left Dipper's mind as other things had cropped up during the day. Silly things like that happened often in the Pines household, and he didn't think much of it.

But evidently, the cultists had been watching as he'd done all sorts of housework while being taunted with constant cries of "Dippy-cat!" And they saw him helping them out, and they… okay, so it sort of made sense from their perspective, but…

Dipper's laughter took several minutes to die down before he could address the cultists again. "Oh- oh man, that's priceless. I'll have to tell Mabel about this when I get back. You guys- you _seriously _thought that a demon would be named _Dippy-cat_?"

The cultists turned to one another and murmured, clearly disturbed by his outburst.

"You guys are hilarious. Hats off to you." Dipper tipped his top hat towards the one who looked like the leader, whose robes were lined with gold, before putting it back on his head. "You win the most adorable summoners of the day award. It's not even a contest. I mean, _Dippy-cat_. Really?"

Dipper waited for a response, but the cultists were all too stunned to speak.

The laughter left Dipper's voice now. "But let's get one thing straight. I don't like people trying to guess my name, and I _definitely _don't like people spying on my-" What was the word they had used? "-associates and I." He paused before wrinkling his nose and adding, "Also, I don't really like cats. They're just… creepy."

The demon relished the silence that filled the room as he considered his next words. His hands filled with blue fire as he advanced towards the leader of the cult.

"So, cute as you are, I think all of you need to be taught a lesson…"


End file.
